Most successful people are self-directing and self-managing. They take initiative, they know what they want to achieve, and they have discipline. They have self-knowledge and know their strengths and weaknesses. They have action plans to follow in order to avoid procrastination and keep on track with goals.

Then why would successful people seek out the services of a coach? Why do so many business executives - who are already in top positions - demand an executive coach as part of their benefits package? Because they know from experience that even their highly refined ability to see what is needed is limited by their own assumptions and beliefs. Could the business world be on to something?

It is like the blind leading the blind (Luke 6:39) when you only have yourself to turn to (2 Cor. 10:12). The problem is that we all use our inner assumptions and beliefs to make decisions. We are driven by motivations and values that are outside our own awareness.

What are we talking about here? Surely, age and experience provides self-knowledge and a certain wisdom. Most people know themselves pretty well and are able to set goals and make decisions that are in line with who they are. Well, most successful people have this ability, at least part of the time, and therein lies the problem. Sometimes our beliefs and assumptions are faulty or out of date. Yet we rarely take time to look at our assumptions and beliefs - they are too ingrained. To read more, click here.

Let's define further here what we need to discuss:

Beliefs

Beliefs are the assumptions we make about ourselves, about others in the world and about how we expect things to be. Beliefs are about how we think things really are, what we think is really true and what to expect as likely consequences that will follow from our behavior.

Values

Values are about how we have learnt to think things ought to be or people ought to behave, especially in terms of qualities such as honesty, integrity and openness.

Basic Assumptions

Basic assumptions are our long-learnt, automatic responses and established opinions. We are almost always unaware of the nature of our own basic assumptions, but they are enacted through our behavior - what we say and do. Basic assumptions are usually rooted in our infancy, early family life and social context. More widely, assumptions shaping our behavior relate to cultural context.

Attitudes

Attitudes are the established ways of responding to people and situations that we have learned, based on the beliefs, values and assumptions we hold. Attitude become manifest through our behavior.

There are two kinds of beliefs that operate behind the scenes, so to speak:

1. Empowering beliefs: these are related to excellence and how it can be achieved.



2. Limiting beliefs: these are the beliefs you have that limit your behaviors; even though your behavior is not what you want, you don't believe you can change it, for one reason or another. (Source: www.1000ventures.com/business_guide/crosscuttings/character_beliefs-values.html)

Many of the circumstances that seem to block us in our daily lives may only appear to do so based on a framework of assumptions we carry with us.

Draw a different frame about the same set of circumstances and new pathways come into view.

Have you ever tried to draw or paint a self-portrait? Even if you are artistic and talented, this is a very difficult task. To take a look at your assumptions and beliefs by yourself, and to explore them - examine them for their usefulness and value, is even harder to do - if not impossible.

There are many ways to challenge your limiting beliefs. You may visit other successful ministries and evaluate their values-based programs against your beliefs. You may read books, attend conferences, and spend hours meditating upon your ways, but again, in the end you are still evaluating yourself.

To get an honest appraisal, a coach may be the answer. A coach (the Bible calls them counselors) can help you see what you can't see yourself. And how can they, if they don't really know you, or haven't known you for very long? A good coach will ask the right kinds of questions - the kinds you can't answer right away, the ones that make you think.

One of the best ways to surface underlying assumptions and beliefs with your coach is to drill down with a series of questions. You make a statement, and your coach asks, "What's important about that to you?" You answer. The coach continues to ask, "And, what's important about that?"- until you surface the most important and essential beliefs about yourself and your world.

To explore further, the coach would ask about how you formed that belief, where it comes from. This exploratory discussion usually reveals an experience in early childhood, or early on in a career. There is a history around every belief, both the empowering ones and the limiting ones. But we rarely examine them to see if they are appropriate for what is going on in the present.

In reality, our limiting beliefs are not formed by biblical principles. More often than not, many of our beliefs are based upon where we were educated, or what "camp" we identify with, or what "thought guru" we follow. These beliefs need to be purged and we need help doing it.

Both our social and work habits have been built on these assumptions. Even our relationships and marriages operate on beliefs formed from our early histories. And while circumstances may have changed since the start of these practices, their continued use tends to reconfirm the old beliefs - they often still feel right to us. We keep on doing what we have always done, and expect different results!

Examining your assumptions and beliefs with your coach requires trust and confidence in your relationship. First, you must be able to examine and explore without judgment fundamental assumptions and beliefs no matter how they may show up. Next, you need a safe conversational environment to creatively explore and invent new beliefs.

Invent new beliefs? Yes. I'm not talking about turning from Scriptural truth. I'm talking about secular attitudes and beliefs that you have picked up that are not Christ honoring nor based upon biblical principle. You can fill in the blanks with strife, bigotry, skepticism, bitterness, and false loyalties, etc. You need to lay those deadly thoughts in the grave with the "old man" and let your mind be resurrected in Christ.

According to authors Ben and Rosamund Zander in The Art of Possibility, our beliefs are all of our own construction. "It's all invented anyway, so we might as well invent a story or a framework of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us." While this is admittedly a strange way to articulate the thought, it is nevertheless a suggestion based upon the Word of God. (Phil. 2:5; 4:8/Heb. 12:15)

Here is what they suggest you ask yourself:

What assumption am I making,
That I'm not aware I'm making,
That gives me what I see?

When you have an answer to that question, ask yourself this one:

What might I now invent,
That I haven't yet invented,
That would give me other choices?

Here's a story to illustrate:

A shoe factory sends two salesmen to Africa. One sends back a telegram:

SITUATION HOPELESS STOP NO ONE WEARS SHOES

The other writes back:

GLORIOUS OPPORTUNITY STOP THEY HAVE NO SHOES!

Each salesman has his own perspective with his own story to tell. Each has constructed their "truth" about the world they encountered.

If you only have yourself as a coach, you may be missing an opportunity to explore beyond your assumptions and beliefs, both the limiting and empowering ones.

Jeff Wade, DBS
BibleLeader.com